I think too much and then put myself in a bad mood.

Part of me...

Part of me is screaming inside.
Part of me don't wanna grow up.
Part of me is afraid.
Part of me just...

I'm so afraid of this world, this life.
Is this a phase? If it is, please go away fast.
Is this a phase where I need people to be there for me, or away from me?
Is it me or the time that has been passing so ridiculously fast?

If I shall have a superpower, I want it to be time-stopper.

I guess these are just the 'day' where I feel like shit. I need the rainbow back in my life.

Ya Allah, my lord, guide me...

Just smile and pray

At this very moment, there is no mortal that I would see myself comfortable to talk about with. I m not saying the Creator, No! I mean Human. So here I am. Expressing, or rant about my-so-called-pathetic-life.

In this particular episode of my life, I am here feeling some kind of lost, or not. How should I put this? Maybe now being in the last term of this course, 2 and a half years. Yikes. I am feeling under pressure. The needs of get things right, wanting things to be perfect. The time I felt this way was when I was in the first term, and now.. Oh Allah, help me, guide me.

Siti Zaleha, Relax. Chill. Take a Breather.

Maybe I should just focus on what's happening now and not to worry too much about what's gonna happen tomorrow, right?
Insha'Allah everything is going to be alright. Insha'Allah.
I pray I pray, that He will grant me the best of the best, and I believe that He will.

I somehow feel so much distracted this time around. So occupied but yet, still distracted. Is that a phase? I hope it is, and yes please go away soon. SOON!
Sometimes, I just sit around and let myself wander in my own world, my own imagination, my own bubble. I see myself being alone but not lonely. Apart of having such a beautiful family and a loving partner, I am blessed. But friends? Not many. Even if I do, they are so far away.

No worries, no worries. Just smile and pray.

And ooh, I love Shy'm.




Dance on your feet, move your hips.

Always always love you, Insha'Allah.
-z-

Random fun stuff

I found this on a blogger's blog, and thought it was fun. So here it is, Thing you have done during your lifetime-

( )Gone on a blind date

(X) Skipped school

( ) Watched someone die

( ) Been to Canada

( ) Been to Mexico

( ) Been to Florida

( ) Been to Hawaii

(X) Been on a plane

( ) Been on a helicopter

(X) Been lost

( ) Gone to Washington, DC

(X) Swam in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robbers

(X) Recently colored with crayons

(X) Sang Karaoke 

( ) Paid for a meal with coins only

( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t 

( ) Made prank phone calls

( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose

( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus

( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sunrise with someone

(X) Blown bubbles

( ) Gone ice-skating

(X) Gone to the movies

( ) Been deep sea fishing

( ) Driven across the United States

( ) Been in a hot air balloon

( ) Been sky diving

( ) Gone snowmobiling

( ) Lived in more than one country

(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets

( ) Seen a falling star and made a wish

( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser

( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty

( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle

( ) Been on a cruise

(X) Traveled by train

( ) Traveled by motorcycle

(X) Been horse back riding

( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR

(X) Been to Disneyland 

(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer

(X) Been in a rain forest

( ) Seen whales in the ocean

( ) Been to Niagara Falls

( ) Ridden on an elephant

( ) Swam with dolphins

( ) Been to the Olympics

( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China

( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf

( ) Been spinnaker flying

( ) Been water-skiing 

( ) Been snow-skiing

( ) Been to Westminster Abbey

( ) Been to the Louvre

( ) Swam in the Mediterranean

( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game 

( ) Been to a National Football League game 

Not your typical nu year resolutions post!

Everybody is talking about new year new year new year.

Where should I start?
Let see what I've been through in 2011.
There's a saying that says 'count your blessings and not your problems right'. Well, whatever that has happened bring more joy to my life and that is how it is and it is fine with me. Life.
When I'm wrong, I learn. I learn from my mistakes. And take it as a lesson and be a better person.

Of course for the start, happy things. Plenty plenty of them..
Le familia, family first!. Parents are back in town. The sheriffs are back. Haha. No more sneaking around, lol. Sounds like I've been a bad girl when they were away. :p

Le special someone, we've been through some ups and downs. Happiness and tears. That's how relationships are supposed to be, I guess. When you did something that isn't right, you learn and appreciate that person for what he/she has done for you along the way. It takes two to tango.
Whatever that is, lets move forward to our happiness in the future and counting and counting. I love you!

Le friends. People change. To the better or worse. Maybe they didn't, but the time has. We've grown and the perspective, the needs, the circle of friends have totally changed and need a makeover. Thus, it is not any one's fault (i guess), just that's the way it is. And the silly me thought the 'ooh,best friend forever, bff, xoxo' shit fairytale is real. Boo me!
Nevertheless, to those that I thought were gonna change, they didn't. They stayed real. Even though, we didn't talk over the phone every week, but they are the ones who really appreciate and cherish the friendship. I'm thankful for those angels. ;)

On the other hand. As a human being, I made mistakes. Every single day.
To my parents, my siblings, my loved one, my friends, and most importantly myself and my creator.
To them, I am sorry for what I've done. I will be a better daughter, a better sister, a better lover, and a better friends.

To myself, Ya Allah S.W.T, I've made mistakes, I've sinned. I did things that I shouldn't do. I'm ashamed of myself, but please don't give up on me. I will try to be a better person, better. Insya'Allah.
Please bless us, my family, my loved ones, my friends. Bless our relationship, guide our heart, cleanse our soul to the betterment. & last but not least, bless us all with happiness and joy. Ameen. :')

So yeah, there it is, my not-your-typical-new-year resolutions bla bla bla. Please, you won't remember any of it by the you wake up tomorrow morning, or noon. Duhh. And some got wasted, cheers to your 'fresh start'. Haha. :/

Again, soooo...
By the time I finished this, its new year already. Thus, imagine the fireworks, confetti, and cheers!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2012!

Love,
-z-