Lately, I have been thinking about death, a lot. Hey, not that I want to die or suicide, but just.. Death in general. I'd be like, 'what if xxx dies first?', 'what should I do if xxx dies?', 'how am I gonna go on living my life without xxx?'. That kind of questions you know. I am Not good in dealing with death or whatsoever. Even if I don't know who the deceased is and what not, it will still affect me. I don't know why, but that's how I am. And I guess, not going to a med school indeed is the right path for me.
I am scared, afraid.
I know I know that one day the person we love will eventually dies and we then need to accept the truth and reality. But as for now, I am not ready yet. I am not ready to lose my family. My parents, my brothers. NO.
Thus, alhamdulillah, this always keep me grounded. It makes me realize that I should always always put family first and love them, spend time with them, care for them and most importantly, Pray for them. I will always always remember that and stay grounded. InsyaAllah. May Allah S.W.T. always take care of them and bless them...
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